The Great Big Funk


 

Ugh. Some weeks drag on like a turtle crossing the Rocky Mountains with a bad ankle. Very S-L-O-W-L-Y and painfully.

I’ve been wanting to blog for the past couple of weeks, but all my creativity was being sucked out of me by work and kids and trying to come up with ideas for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Blah.

Do you guys get in a little funk this time of year, too? Why is that? The time change? The cold weather? I don’t know, but I could feel it spreading over me a little more each day, until I realized…I am now in an all-out, full-on funk.

Oh, lawdy. Warn the kids! Neighbors, hide your chips and beer! Stock the advil and chocolate.

Momma is in a mood.

I hate being in a funk. It’s like an alien has taken over my body and I KNOW I’m being horrible, but there’s just no way I can stop it. My rational brain is going, “Jen, sweetheart, just take a nap and chill out. You can do this! You know you go through this every year, darlin! It ain’t no thing…You got this!”

My psycho brain is going, “Shut up, Pollyanna. Darn right “I got this!” Just go away and keep your chipper self far away from me!”

I know. It’s awful. I’m awful. And I had to bleep the above, because that is not what I said to my rational self.

I’ve been reading a book* about very creative, intelligent people and their daily rituals. I thought maybe if I could try a different schedule or was inspired by something, I could get back in my groove and feel ready to conquer the world again. And by conquer the world, I mean homeschool the kids without crying (me) and get through the afternoon without feeling like I’ve been run over by a truck. What I learned in the book was that everyone had a different ritual. Some people were total morning people, like me, and got up at the crack of dawn or before. Some slept all day and worked all night. Some drank. Some did not. Some wrote for hours at a time. Some wrote daily. Some didn’t write for months and then would knock out a novel in just a few weeks. Some had routines that were like clockwork, down to the minute. Some were more general “flow of the day” type of people.

My own daily routine is this: Get up at 5 am, Bible study/drink tea/write until hubby gets back from gym around 6, go to gym, breakfast/shower, school, work, repeat.

I know. You are so jealous right now, right?

So…today is going to be different. I finally had a talk with both personalities and told them to make up or get out of my head. I told them that it was cold outside and they were about to be homeless, so get ready: I was not responsible for their well-being anymore. Someone else was moving in – “loving, kind, patient brain” was returning from her vacation and she would not take any crap from the two of them.

They apologized immediately and said they’d behave.

The basic routine will have to stay the same – I mean, I do homeschool, work from home (most of the time), and have other responsibilities. I will not give up my workouts. They are the only time I have to myself throughout the day. Plus, I love them.

The thing that will have to change is my attitude. I hate that. I hate the fact that I hate that. And I hate the fact that it’s my freaking attitude that has to change and not everyone else’s attitude that has to change. And I hate eggs cooked with olive oil. Yuck.

You can tell that this is going well so far.

Anyway, I sincerely hope that all of you have a great and wonderful day full of delightful moments that warm your heart.

Bitches.

Oops.

 

*The book is great – Daily Rituals: How Artists Work by Mason Currey

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