She Don’t Know She’s Beautiful

Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes? Not really. My world is more like “Face, Thighs, and Camel Toes”.

These are the things about me that I hate.

Well, not so much the last one, but it rhymed. And I thought it was funny.

Hello. I’m Jennifer and I struggle with my appearance.

First of all, this is not a post where I am saying that I don’t like the way I look, and look at me, and say I’m pretty, and blah, blah, blah…I’m not looking for compliments. To be truthful, compliments are great. I love them – I just don’t believe them. So…it really doesn’t matter who are you or what you say, anyway. Really. Ask my poor hubby.

The problem is that every woman I know feels the same way and it’s sad. All of these incredible, gorgeous people are walking around feeling bad about themselves. I was trying to convince a friend the other day that she is absolutely beautiful, smart, and hilarious. She didn’t believe me. I mean, REALLY DIDN’T BELIEVE ME. She was not trying to get me to say nice things. She was depressed about herself and her perception of her appearance and personality. I was so sad for her.

And then it hit me. She is me. She is every woman I know. I feel exactly the same way. If someone told me what I had just told her, I would thank her. And I would also think she was lying.

The truth is this: it really only matters what I think about the way I look. I’m trying to get better about the thoughts I have in my head. As a mom to a gorgeous, smart, hilarious daughter, I don’t want to screw her up with my insecurities. She will have her own insecurities and I definitely don’t want to add to them.

If I had to list the things about me that I don’t like, I would start with my face, followed by my thighs, then my ugly feet (trust me), and then my voice. I wish I was taller. I wish I could sing. I would like my legs to be 4 inches longer. My sternum sticks out – I hate that. One day I would like to get a boob job. Trust me on this as well.

But…I have good arms. I like my arms. I like my hair – when it will cooperate. I can write well. I am creative. I can manage a lot of things at once. I can sometimes be funny. My husband loves me. My house is not a complete disaster all the time. Just sometimes. I am a good cook. I’m really, really strong and can run really, really fast.

It took me less than a minute to come up with things I hated and about 5 minutes to come up with things I liked.

Ladies and Gentlemen: That is not something I’m proud of.

I have a feeling that most of you are the same way.

I’m tired of it. I’m tired of feeling ugly and comparing myself to other people and the gorgeousness they possess. I know and believe that beauty is on the inside. But let’s be honest…our outward appearance affects the way we see ourselves and the way other people perceive us. Most of all, I just want to let it go and be happy with the way I look. I want us all to be happy with the way we look. 

Outward appearance is not really what this is about anyway. This is about being nice to yourself. Would you ever in a million years talk to anyone else the way you talk to yourself? Would you criticize and analyze every single cell of another human being and pick on the things that weren’t perfect? Why do we do this to ourselves? 

Beauty is such a subjective thing, anyway. Different cultures have different ways of defining beauty. Different people like different things. Hair color, face shape, attitude, height, and body type…everyone has a preference specific to them.

If you know me, you know that until about a year or so ago, I hated to have my picture taken. I have very few photos of me still around because I threw them all away. My mom told me to stop – that my kids would wonder where I was when they were little. It has taken a lot to get me to post pics of myself. I still don’t like photos of me.

Until today. In fact, I was struggling to figure out a new blog topic until this morning. My camera on my phone wouldn’t work. It doesn’t work well anyway, but I had to take a pic of something for a client and send it back to them ASAP. My camera wouldn’t open. Then it would open, but not take pictures. I was getting frustrated.

Finally, I had to get my kids from my parent’s house and I walked out to the garage. I had the camera open, messing with it and hit the button to the “selfie” camera. I held down the button and it starting shooting pics. I mean, I was being completely stupid. Yay! It worked! I threw the phone in the car and headed out.

Then, I saw the pics.

I almost cried. There were eight photos of me that I liked. EIGHT.  It made me happy. It made me question why I ever thought I was ugly at all.

Morning sunlight is amazing for pictures, by the way, and I will never take a picture again without it. These may be the ONLY PICS EVER that I like.


Dearest women friends,

You are beautiful. When someone says that you are beautiful, believe them. When someone gives you a compliment, they aren’t lying.

Just say “Thank you” and go be your beautiful self.

A hair toss and a wink may be appropriate, as well…dahlings.



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