Hurry Up and Read This

Hurry Up and Read This

Life has a funny way of kicking you in the butt, then punching you in the gut just to make sure you really felt the pain. More than once I’ve ended up flat on my back staring up at the sky, thinking, “What. Just. Happened?”

Sometimes it’s harsh words from someone you love. Sometimes it’s a bill you didn’t expect. Sometimes, more often than not, it’s an actual kick, punch, or fall. I’m pretty klutzy.

The other day I tripped over an imaginary piece of nothing and landed awkwardly on my face. My son stepped over me and asked for chocolate milk. It’s not a big surprise to find me laid out on the floor, waiting to gather my tattered self-esteem so I can move again.

But sometimes it’s not me that gets in my own way. It’s someone else. Or something else. That drives me completely bonkers. I’m not the kind of person that likes to wait. I’m not the kind of person that likes to depends on others in order to get my job done.

I’m the kind of person that likes to get it done. Like, now. And that can be a problem.

Patience is not my forte. Patience is not my gift. Patience is not something I’m blessed with. In case you missed it…I’m not patient. Think about patience and then think of the opposite.

I’m that.

Now, am I calm? Yes. I’m very calm. I’m downright soothing. I just don’t like to wait.

I will work on a project until I can barely stay awake and then get stuck on one part that I need someone else for and then…I get antsy. Don’t you hate it when you’re not everyone else’s priority? I mean, how dare they have a life that doesn’t include doing what I need them to do! Schmucks.

Do I really think that? Yep. Of course, I do! We ALL do this. My kids are pros at this. I can barely get one request done before the next demand {excuse me…REQUEST} rolls in.

The other day, I had a website plug-in go totally hay wire and mess up a site, my car wouldn’t start, our sprinkler system broke, my kids decided to lose their minds, and I dropped my Kindle in the bath tub. It wasn’t the best day.

I couldn’t fix the plug-in for technical reasons I won’t bore you with here.

My car is a POS and I finally remembered a hack my sister told me to get it to start. {Thank you!}

No luck with the sprinkler system, so that stressed me out. It’s hot. I don’t want our sorta lovely lawn to die.

My kids…did I mention the patience thing?

And my poor Kindle. It’s been in a bag of rice for four days now. I hope it lives.

The point is that I couldn’t fix any of these things and it completely ruined my day. I just wanted to cry. So I cried. I boo-hooed. I made ugly faces. I said bad words to myself. I moaned and groaned. I was rude to my family. I slammed drawers and stomped my feet.

I was disgusted with myself. If I could just be patient, every single one of these things could be resolved without to much pain. The lawn guy was coming soon. The car will eventually be replaced. I could borrow my hubby’s Kindle – I don’t get to read much anyway. The kids, well…they don’t lose their minds every day.

I was being a baby. Why did I have to be such a downer? Why does it all have to bedonerightnow?

I would like to say it’s because God, in his infinite wisdom, made me this way. He made me goal oriented. He made me a go-getter. He made me tenacious. He made me a hard worker.

He did. But I’m using those as excuses for bad behavior, and that’s not okay.

I apologized to the family, apologized to God, and took a deep breath. Everything will be okay. But…it made me realize that I sometimes use my greatest gifts in not nice ways. That makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want to be that person. No one wants me to be that person.

So, I’m going to use those gifts of being focused and goal oriented and I’m going to get patient.

I’m going to do it right this minute. As soon as I stop typing, patience training will commence.

Ok. Right now. Go.

P.S. Prayers for my family appreciated.

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